Will

Will

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happiness continued	[Jul. 11th, 2007\|12:28 am]
If I were to ask you why you have believed in Christ, why you have become Christian, every man will answer truly, "For the sake of happiness." -Saint Augustine As I was writing my last post, I had a question in the back of my mind. I was asking myself how wrong it was that I haven't felt truly happy in a long time. I don't mean wrong as in 'incorrect,' but, rather, I mean it like 'terrible.' I'm rereading the beginning of John Piper's Desiring God and he makes the distinction between 'believing in Christ' and 'treasuring Christ.' Drunks believe in Christ; drug dealers believe in Christ; child-abusing parents believe in Christ. But what about treasuring Christ? Paul writes in Philippians that he considered everything as loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus as Lord. I know in my mind that I have to treasure Christ and delight myself in the Lord. I want to find the real joy and satisfaction that can only come from knowing and treasuring Christ. I love this hymn. I'm going to pray it every day: My Jesus I love Thee, I know Thou art mine For Thee all the follies of sin I resign My Gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now
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happiness	[Jul. 9th, 2007\|11:50 pm]
A couple of months ago I visited Columbia and I was sitting in the bleachers that were set up for commencement. A bunch of my friends were standing around and talking but I was just sitting by myself. Then Jamie sat down next to me and asked me an interesting question: "Are you happy?" I didn't know how to respond. I thought about it for a while and gave her an honest answer: "No." It's been a very long time since I was truly happy. When I look at pictures of myself from this past year, my freshman year of 'life', I can't find a single picture in which I look geniunely happy. I also don't recollect any moments of unadulterated happiness that weren't captured by a camera. A scene from Friends that almost brings a tear to my eye is when Chandler proposes to Monica. He says something like, "You make me happier than I thought I could ever be. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way." During my life, a few people have made me geniunely happy - some of them have been girls that I've had feelings for, but not all. Sometimes I really long to go back to a time when I could be happy. I want to go to a place where someone or something could make me feel geniunely happy. A time where I can look at a snapshot of myself and see a surprised look of joy, a look that I've seen in photos from the past but wouldn't be able to find in any recent pictures. I can't wait till I can honestly say to someone, "You make me really happy. Thanks."
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idea vs. reality	[Jun. 27th, 2007\|12:06 am]
"During my senior year of high school, one of my closest friends was killed in a car crash." This is something I tell people whom I've met since I entered college and I feel somewhat comfortable with. There's an immediate heaviness that lands along with that statement. But over time, that statement has become more and more of an idea, a piece of history, as opposed to an actual event that jarred me to the core almost six years ago. Yesterday, I started thinking about Jeff for the first time in a long time. Well, I think I always remember Jeff at least once a day (or at least I hope I do), but yesterday was the first time I really thought about him, who he was, what I remember about him. I remembered his voice, his hands, his mannerisms. I think I've gone a few years without really thinking about him like that. For a while now, Jeff's death has been transforming into a non-reality. I guess time does that - it's not possible to remember him as vividly as I did right after he died. I think a reason this sudden recollection of Jeff and our friendship came about is because I went back to Joong Bu. I saw the youth group kids doing youth group things; the praise team was carrying equipment up the stairs and they were talking about senior banquet. I felt so distant from it all. I wanted to tell the kid carrying the bass amp, "Hey you know I'm the first person to use that amp? We got it around eight years ago." But I would have felt really ridiculous saying that to him, partly because I had no idea who he was, partly because youth group seems so long ago that I don't even consider it as remotely part of my identity. Then I realized that youth group was the last time that I knew Jeff. I started wondering, "If youth group is so completely foreign to me, does that mean Jeff is completely foreign now also? Has he just become a historical fact in my life instead of a friend whom I miss dearly?" I know I'll always be somewhat connected with things in my past, but I'm talking about a deeper connection. How much can I say that Jeff's death impacts my life right now? Is it the case that I can only feel connected with something if I'm associated with it at the current stage of my life? I last remember him as a 17-year-old. Today, I think 17-year-olds are idiots. It's hard to think about him with the perspective with which I view life right now. When I think about Jeff, I automatically try to switch my mindset to the one I had in high school, which is hard to do because I don't really remember how I thought about things in high school. So many times, I can't think of a particular thing as more than just an idea. I don't like that. I wish things could be more real, that they'd be real enough to shake me.
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dogmatism and absolute claims	[Jun. 18th, 2007\|02:09 pm]
One thing about truth that most people know but don't realize that they know is that it is exclusive. If something is true, then, by nature, it excludes what is false. A method that is frequently used to test if something is true is testing all other possible explanations/methods and showing that they are false. Though proving that all other explanations are false doesn't necessarily guarantee that something is true, it still is better than nothing. In a world where the existence of absolute truth is seen more as a myth than an actual reality, people are becoming more and more skeptical about absolute claims. Almost nothing is seen as a black and white issue anymore; if someone strongly believes in something, other people look at that person's choosing to believe in it as just a matter of personal preference, not as evidence for truth. I think this blurring between truth and preference has turned society off to people who are very dogmatic about their beliefs. I know that's the case for me. I don't like it when people are very stubborn in believing that something is true if I myself don't think it's true. However, even though people are turned off to extreme dogmatism, most people are reasonable enough to listen to someone's opinions if it seems like that person is also open to the idea that there is a chance he or she might be wrong and/or that another opinion might be correct. For example, a non-Christian would probably be more willing to listen to a Christian who has researched many other religions before deciding to become a Christian than some stubborn Christian who has grown up in church and knows nothing about any other belief systems. The first type of Christian would definitely be seen as more open-minded and his/her decision to be Christian would be considered more well-informed than the second type's decision. And on the flip side, for me as a Christian, I would take an atheist more seriously if it seemed like he/she had been open to the idea that God may actually exist than if he/she was very dogmatic about his/her beliefs. Basically, I believe people are taken more seriously regarding their beliefs when they actually take arguments against their beliefs into consideration and give them serious thought. If someone can refute all counter-arguments to his opinion, it certainly helps that person's case and gives his/her opinion more credence and legitimacy. So that's my opinion about opinions, and a way for me to give my opinion more weight is to say that I realize that too much openness to opposing opinions can be dangerous as well because it can lead to a different type of abandonment of truth. That's what I'm learning you have to do when you make a point: you have to also make it clear what it is that you're NOT saying as well.
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disenchantment	[Jun. 15th, 2007\|10:39 am]
There's a quote in Ravi Zacharias's Recapture the Wonder from a book in C.S. Lewis's Narnia series, Prince Caspian. Lucy is talking to Aslan, the king lion who represents Christ, and they have this conversation: "Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger." "That is because you are older, little one," answered he. "Not because you are?" "I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger." Ravi uses this to illustrate that only God is big enough to keep fulfilling our longings in life, even as we grow older. I can see that the older I get, the bigger I need God to be to really give me wonder. If I hold onto my view of God from when I was in high school or college, I won't be seeing Him for who He really is or who He should be at this point in my life. I think a big part of my disenchantment with life right now is that I haven't found God to be bigger than I knew Him to be in the past. I don't know if 'bigger' is the correct word, but I'm just using it because of the Lewis quote. When I think about it, I find it strange and somewhat ridiculous that I don't see God as big enough to fulfill my deepest longings and to give me wonder, but I think that's the reality of my situation. I know for a fact that God is bigger than anything I could possibly imagine and that He should be and is big enough to fill any longing in my heart. However, I don't think I've found or experienced God in a way to make that truth personal to me.
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a life lesson about life	[Apr. 10th, 2007\|09:24 pm]
Sometimes I wish life made sense in all aspects. But it doesn't. You always have to look it at from a certain angle, manipulate it just a little, for it to make even a little bit of sense. This is a paragraph I really like from Ravi Zacharias's Jesus Among Other Gods. I feel like if i were to fully grasp this paragraph, I'd be much farther along the road of understanding life. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? The only way one can realize life while one lives it is if he or she realizes that life is not a matter of nutrition alone but of the greater hunger that is beyond words and food. We do not live so that we can eat, nor do we just eat so that we can live. Life is worth living in and of itself. Life cannot be satisfied when it is lived out as a consuming entity. When it is filled by that which satisfies a hunger that is both physical and spiritual in a mutuality that sustains both without violation of either, only then can life be truly fulfilling. Authenticity and continuity are the offspring of the true and the eternal. For the millions who live out their lives day to day with the pursuit of bread dominating their dreams and actions, life, as it was meant to be, passes them by, and their unsatisfied hungers continue to scream out at them. Why is it that whenever I really consider life, whenever I just sit down and think about it, I always feel as though I'm missing at least 98% of what I should be grasping? Why does it so often seem like a better solution would be just to avoid thinking and attempting to grasp anything? Why does life so often come down to looking for something to do just to pass the time between waking up and going to sleep? I was walking down the street one day and I made a 'decision' to try to make every single day of my life a day worth looking forward to. Why should I be regulated to wishing that every day between Monday and Thursday were some other day? Why should today feel less valuable than another day? Why should this moment in time feel less important than another? Where does all this value, or lack of value, come from? Life makes no sense. Richard Dawkins seems to think that religion is dangerous because people with an eternal perspective apparently don't care about the decisions that they make in this life, leading to a world of people making 'unwise' choices that jeopardize themselves and others around them. I wonder what kind of value he puts into the everyday decisions he makes in his own life. Does he have to work really hard to convince himself that things actually matter? I can't imagine having an ounce of hope about anything if I were him. I'm having enough trouble trying to find meaning while believing in a Creator who gives meaning to things, I wonder how he gets through life with a worldview that makes it impossible to give any meaning to anything. Wow what the heck did I just write?
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gratitude	[Feb. 25th, 2007\|11:13 pm]
In his book Recapture the Wonder, Ravi Zacharias says that the first step toward regaining a childlike wonder is gratitude. During the past few weeks, I've been thinking about that and I have realized the following: If you're always looking at what you don't have, all sense of gratitude is lost. I often find myself falling into the trap of looking at what I don't have. When that happens, my perception on life is drastically distorted and I feel like yet another layer of bitterness has been poured onto my heart. Greed, anger, and impatience set in and I have the audacity to feel like I can demand things from God, as if I deserve something from Him because of the world of injustice I face. But just because I realize that this attitude is wrong, it doesn't mean that I suddenly don't want anything now - I'm still greedy, bitter, and sinful. It's pretty sad. I'm starting to fall in love with 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Words like joy, prayer, gratitude, wonder, and glory are all taking on a deeper meaning as I seek after God. And I still feel like it's all a faint whisper at this point. God has blessed me greatly the past 23 years. When I actually sit down and think about what I've been given, I'm blown away. It shows me that I'm capable of gratitude (which I have doubted at times). When it comes to Christ, the words think and thank go hand-in-hand. Two of my favorite songs have the lines, "Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice...once again I thank You, once again pour out my life," and, "When I think about the Lord...it makes me want to shout, 'Hallelujah, thank you Jesus'." Thinking about the cross, thinking about the sufficiency of His grace, and thinking about being called to see His glory have an erasing effect - they erase stupid things like greed, bitterness, and envy away. Maybe not completely away, but at least a little bit. Thinking is essential for gratitude. Gratitude is essential for wonder. Wonder is essential.
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on friendship	[Feb. 19th, 2007\|11:08 pm]
A man should not be judged for how many friends he has, but for how many friends he keeps. I came up with the above quote while reflecting on friendships and relationships. I've come up with a few theories/thoughts on friendship that may not be entirely original, but they are kind of new realizations for me. Well maybe not new, but unrealized. They were unrealized realizations. I guess I should preface this by saying that I think that I'm a love-me. If you don't know what that is, it's one of four heart motives. I'm not going to explain all of them, but love-me's are people who care about a select group of people - they make big distinctions between 'friends' and 'acquaintances' and choose to devote their affections toward a chosen few (or maybe more than few, I don't know). So since I think I'm a love-me, my thoughts on friendship won't apply to a lot of people. That said, I think my definition of a true friendship is a friendship that doesn't depend on some external connection or community to sustain itself. In other words, I don't have to be in or attend the same ministry, school, a cappella group, church, team, or anything else with a person to maintain a feeling of real friendship with him or her. If I were to graduate, move away, leave a community, or something to that extent, I feel like this would be the true test of friendship: are we still going to keep in touch even though we don't have this external connection? In the past, for many people in my life, once our connecting link was no longer there, the need for that friendship wasn't as strong. It's kind of sad, but it's true. A person whose friendship is based on proximity, school, or church may not be a friend anymore once that foundation/connection is taken away. But when the friendship is personal and built solely on Will-and-Blank, that foundation can't be taken away because it's just based on who you are. It's the most simple foundation there could be in a relationship: two people. No groups, no teams, just a bond between two people. That's what brought about the quote at the top: I realized that being in a community of people I consider my friends is great, but the real friendships are those that don't depend on this community as their foundation. I'm pretty sure that qualifies me as a love-me. Another realization I made about friendships is that there are two basic groups of friends. There are friends you have a 'catch-up' relationship with, and friends you have an 'in-the-loop' relationship with. By a 'catch-up' relationship I mean the type of friend you meet with occassionally, but when you meet up, you share pretty much everything that's been going on since you last met up. The conversations with these friends start with a "How have you been?" It's not necessarily a superficial catching up - you can tell this person your biggest secrets, struggles, pretty much anything. You can even consider this person to be one of your best friends. But... for some reason you don't meet up more than occassionally. It's always just to catch up. And even though you may be very fond of each other, and you may entertain thoughts of hanging out more regularly, you are both fine with the way things are. Something keeps you from meeting more often. Because if you were to hang out regularly, you would be become... ...an 'in-the-loop' friend, who is someone you hang out with pretty regularly. Or, in modern days, someone you im with on a consistent basis. You don't necessarily need a "How have you been?' with these people. Actually, you usually never need one, because they already know. They know what's going on, they know the everyday things you face, they know about upcoming events. It may actually be easier to share 'big' things with a 'catch-up' friend than an 'in-the-loop' friend because telling an 'in-the-loop' friend something big will throw off the usual flow of the relationship. For me, defining my friendships used to be weird because I was always confused - I wondered why I could feel so close with a 'catch-up' friend but not feel the need to keep in touch every day. I wondered why it felt weird to tell certain things to people I talked to and hung out with every day. Now I think I have a clearer idea.
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Obsessions	[Feb. 9th, 2007\|10:40 am]
Lately, I've been obsessed with a few things. I like thinking about them. 1. The Original Dream Team For some reason, I love all kinds of all-star games/teams. The greatest collection of stars ever to be assembled was the Team USA basketball squad that played in the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona. I've been watching highlights of that team and they leave me in awe. Just the thought of those legends being put together on one team makes my heart beat a little faster. Imagine having a starting five of David Robinson, Charles Barkley, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, and Magic Johnson. And then replacing that lineup with a second team of Patrick Ewing, Karl Malone, Scottie Pippen, Clyde Drexler, and John Stockton. Not to mention Chris Mullin and the oft-forgotten 12th man Christian Laettner. That is a mind-boggling team. When I see the highlights from 1992, I see how good those guys are at every aspect of the game. Half of the team's shots must have been dunks or lay-ups, which come as a result of great defense, transition offense, and passing. And that team did not have the problem of recent versions of Team USA facing the zone because they had guys who could shoot. Coach Chuck Daly said, "You know how I beat the zone? Larry Bird on one side, Chris Mullin on the other." That's so crazy. I only wish that America could send the same kind of team to international competitions right now. 2. The Halal Cart on 53rd and 6th I love chicken and rice, or C&R as I like to call it. I can't stop thinking about it. A few weekends ago, I had it on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. That was nuts. I can't believe that Danny thought that C&R was a big chicken dancing on the corner of 53rd and 6th with rice raining down on it. That is freakin ridiculous. When he told me and Sy yesterday that he had C&R for the first time the night before, I was very skeptical so I put together a multiple choice quiz for Danny on the subject of C&R. These were the questions: 1. How big is the chicken that dances on the corner? a. 5 feet tall b. 7 feet tall c. There is no chicken d. This is a trick question. there are 2 chickens, each of a different height 2. What does the chicken and rice taste like? a. Just regular food b. Pretty good food c. The best halal food i've ever had d. A slice of heaven Danny answered (d) and (e). I guess that proves that he had it. Or maybe it proves that he didn't have it. I haven't decided yet. But anyway, I think I am going to have a craving for C&R every day for the rest of my life. 3. The Office I don't normally watch tv except when sports is on. Friends was the only show that I watched every episode of. But a few weeks ago Euge said, "You should watch The Office. I think you'd really like it." I've always been hesitant to start watching new shows because I never think they will be as good or funny as Friends. But Euge put a bunch of episodes of The Office on my computer and I ended up watching around 40 episodes over the span of three days (incidentally, this period overlapped the three-day C&R weekend). That show is freakin awesome. My life on Thursday nights is now set for the rest of the season of The Office. During the first few days I started watching the show, I kept expecting things in my office to be funny too. But I kind of got disappointed because they were just regular. My office is so boring compared to Dunder-Mifflin. I really like the relationship between Jim and Pam. I also really like Pam. The show is just an amazing combination of a great cast, hilarious writing, and a mostly realistic depiction of the mundane things that go on in an office. And if you're wondering, yes, I do have every aired episode of The Office downloaded and burned onto cd, just like I do with Friends.
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Cute	[Jan. 24th, 2007\|12:08 am]
A cute poem: Slippery ice, very thin, Pretty girl tumbles in, Saw a boy on the bank, Gave a shriek, then she sank. Boy on hand, heard her shout, Jumped right in, pulled her out. Now she's his, very nice. But she had to break the ice. I think the fact that anyone who reads this poem probably immediately thinks of the girl whom he wants to break the ice or the guy whom she wants to rescue her means that everyone's life is a love story of some kind. Not necessarily a romantic love story, but a love story nonetheless. That's a realization I made today. Everyone's lives revolve around love. Everyone wants the feeling of loving someone and being loved in return. For me, I just honestly thought the poem was cute.
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Listening

[Jan. 7th, 2007|09:43 pm]

The mark of a good friend is someone who will listen to you without judging you. The mark of a great friend is someone who not only will listen to you without judging you, but someone who will listen just for the sake of listening.

The mark of a fool is someone who will listen to you and always feel the need to give "wise" advice without considering the fact that a lot of times advice is completely unnecessary - just an open ear is more than sufficient.

Along with the act of thinking, the simple act of listening is one of society's dying arts. No one wants to listen to anyone anymore. In most conversations, most people just want to politely wait for the other person to stop speaking so that they can get their own point across. A lot of times, they don't even politely wait - interruptions run rampant in the world of diners and coffee shops.

That's probably a reason a lot of people don't like to really share their struggles or concerns with others: they'd rather not hear cliched, generalized advice. I know that's true for me. When I think of sharing certain things with certain people, I shudder just thinking about the senseless preaching and solution-giving that I'm going to hear.

Listening involves concern. This concern is a genuine concern for the person who is speaking, not a concern for how important or smart you can feel by giving "wise" advice. (By the way, every time I use quotes with the word wise, I do it in the most sarcastic way possible.) Because sometimes, thoughtless advice, while intended to show concern, is taken as a sign of lack of concern.

I'm not just talking about advice, but about any words from the listener that are supposed to give any kind of guidance or comfort. One example I can think of is during my senior year of high school when one of my closest friends was killed in a car crash. I remember a few people who had the audacity to try to comfort me by attempting to remind me that my friend was in heaven. It would be different if it were his parents who were telling me this, because I knew that my pain did not compare to theirs, but it was people who had no idea what I was going through. It's especially during times of tremendous grief that even the most good-intentioned words will not mean anything. A quiet ear is infinitely more valuable than the most comforting words in the world.

Listening involves wisdom. It takes wisdom to know when to share words of wisdom and when to just be still. I find that the latter is more often than not a truer sign of wisdom. Proverbs 16:27-28 is beautiful:

27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,
and a man of understanding is even tempered.
28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,
and discerning if he holds his tongue.

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A foundation of truth	[Jan. 2nd, 2007\|02:05 pm]
I think a question that plagues young Christians and curious skeptics, whether they know it or not, is not, "How do I live a good Christian life?" but rather, "Why should I live a good Christian life?". For a lot of people, biblical messages about good Christian doctrine need to be preceded by a solid defense of the faith. As dynamic and compelling as certain messages about grace, obedience, and love can be to a young Christian's ears and heart, there will always be that lingering doubt in the mind that says this sounds really great, but how do I know it's true? All people possess a reality by which they live. It doesn't matter if they are religious or not - every single person has a worldview through which they look at their surroundings and circumstances. This worldview serves as the foundation that people place their lives upon. Young Christians usually don't understand that to be a believer, they must have this foundation cover the area of their entire lives. When certain circumstances arise, they cannot just throw out certain parts of their Christian beliefs without throwing away the entire worldview. For example, if a person's mother were to become terminally ill with cancer, he may start to doubt God's existence. But what he doesn't realize is that doubting God's existence suddenly pulls the carpet from under his entire life, not just this isolated incident. The person would then have to answer the questions, "So if there were no God, then what is your belief on where life comes from, how the world began, etc." God's existence is an all-or-nothing deal. If you're going to believe in Him, then you have to believe that He exists during the good times and the bad - there is no picking and choosing. A foundation of truth is necessary for all believers. The knowledge that living with a Christian worldview means examining all circumstances through this worldview is something that is not addressed in the Church today. I find too often that Christians depend on feelings to believe in God instead of basing their beliefs on a foundation of truth. Too many young believers go to revivals, retreats, and conferences and leave with their hearts soaring in love with God, only to find themselves a short while later doubting their beliefs and fearfully thinking that their emotions got the best of them yet again. When John Piper was diagnosed with cancer, someone's initial reaction might have been, "I wonder if he has any doubts about God now." But he didn't, because his life is grounded in the Truth, that is, Christ; a bad circumstance didn't make him waver in his faith. For him, it was about fitting this circumstance into his worldview rather than about adjusting his worldview to try to make the circumstance make sense. Because for him, he knew that to change his understanding of God's character based on one circumstance meant that a snowball of contradictions would begin. Plus, a Christian with sound biblical doctrine remembers that God promises a life of suffering for those who take upon the cross of Christ. The apostle Paul even wrote that he rejoiced in his suffering, persecution, and hardships. For the true Christian, God is the center of reality. God doesn't fit into reality, but rather, reality comes from God. There's a title of a book that Ravi Zacharias co-authored called Why I Still Believe: (Hint: It's the Only Way the World Makes Sense). Even though I haven't read the book, I find myself agreeing with the title. Among the many reasons that I'm a Christian is the fact that all other worldviews crumble and self-destruct in the face of the difficult questions in life. Part of me would love to be used by God to bring the message of this truth to young Christians. I feel that doubts need to be addressed before doctrine can be seriously taught and received; people also need to know that doubt is natural and can be addressed by something that may be more convincing than seemingly random Bible verses. Of course, no amount of knowledge will remove all doubt, and only the Holy Spirit will stir someone to life. However, a good foundation of truth will go a long way in establishing a people who will confidently look at all circumstances with a Christian worldview and know that this worldview is not based on feeling, but on truth.
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Writing about writing	[Jan. 1st, 2007\|06:06 pm]
One of the things I wish I could do really well is write fiction. I find it amazing that people can come up with original stories from scratch. Well, I think every story is certainly derived from and influenced by the author's interests, hobbies, and experiences, but there is a certain creativity it takes to write a really good fiction story. I just reread Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven and the story still tugs at my heart. Albom develops the love between Eddie and his wife in a way so that the reader can understand the sentiments that Eddie feels without thinking that the writing is really cheesy. I wish I could plot out a diagram of the technique that Albom uses to make his words so effective. I love this quote from the book, not because the writing is so eloquent, but because it's written in a way that makes the reader connect with what Eddie is feeling in that moment. It's not just the quote that is meaningful, but everything in the story preceding the quote. "He leans on the cane and he looks at the headstone and he thinks about many things. Taffy. He thinks about taffy. He thinks it would take his teeth out now, but he would eat it anyhow, if it meant eating it with her." Standing alone, the above paragraph doesn't seem much different from any other excerpt from any book out there. But I love the fact that to me, at the point that I read these few sentences, I was able to feel Eddie's longing as intimately as if it were my own. Maybe all it takes is one wave of inspiration to write a fiction story. Maybe it's just a matter of sitting down and grinding one out. Maybe it's a combination of both. But one thing I am certain of is that writing a good fiction story, particularly one that involves love, is pretty difficult. You probably have to experience falling in love first too if you want to write about love.
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An attempt	[Sep. 5th, 2006\|08:47 pm]
Everyone has an innate desire to make his or her life as meaningful as possible. The idea of living life to the fullest is extremely intriguing; it has this pure, noble quality that makes people want it and not feel bad about wanting it. No one can judge you for wanting a meaningful life. A luxurious life? Yes. But not a meaningful life. But as attractive and satifying the notion of attaining a meaningful life can be, it is just as vague and frustrating. Who decides what constitutes a meaningful life? How long does it take to have one? What steps does one need to take to get one? If you were to ask people what they think are some qualities of a meaningful life, a few words you would hear probably would be love, compassion, selflessness, giving, kindness, and a lot of other fluffy, feel-good words. For some people, these responses would cause a gagging reaction, but deep inside, they know that to respond in any other way would be looked at as selfish, and even deeper than that, wrong. All of those fluffy words have one thing in common: they are interactive words. They deal with other people. They are not alone words (unless you are incredibly narcissistic). A logical conclusion would be that meaningful lives involve others. So if everyone agrees that things like love and compassion are necessary to live a meaningful life, then why do we see so little of it today? Why are people afraid to show love and kindness to others? Perhaps it is fear. People are afraid that if they invest what they have and who they are into others, there won't be anything left for themselves. Maybe the return is not worth the investment. What if there is an inherent flaw at the core of that thinking though? Why is it that words dealing with relationships are all economic in nature? We spend time with someone, we invest into a relationship, we earn respect from others. Is this really the way we should view our interactions with other people? Economics can relate to many aspects of life, but when it comes to relationships with other people, we have to be careful with how economical we are. Love and affection should not be equated with money. The reason that there is such a lack of love and compassion in the world is that people make the mistake of viewing those things as tradable, limited commodities. So instead of seeking meaning in life through kindness and compassion, people fall into the trap of pursuing it through more tangible things like wealth, accomplishments, and prestige. Too many take the easy road, seeking the most pleasurable life they can get. They say, "I only get one life to live, why not make it as comfortable as possible?" They take shortcut after shortcut, sometimes choosing what is best, sometimes not. And with each step taken, more often than not, one more regret is added to an already long list. In Mitch Albom's book Tuesdays With Morrie, there is an exchange between Mitch and Morrie where Morrie states that the reason a sixty-five year-old would say, "Oh to be young again!" is that he did not live his life as fully as he believed he feels he could have or should have. If we live with meaning, there is no reason look behind, only reason to be excited for what is to come. And in the end, the measure of meaning in one's life can best be determined by the legacy you leave, the lives you change, and the love you share. It is only in living for something bigger than yourself that you find an everyday, constant meaning in life. This does not mean a perpetually happy life, but one where you can lay your head down at night and know that to someone out there, you matter.
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